There may come a time when you decide that you and your spouse simply are not on the same page anymore. You may not hate them, but you may be frustrated or tired of dealing with the relationship.
At this point, you want to separate and divorce, but you also don’t want to have to deal with a major conflict. What can you do to approach the divorce in a kind way but still make it clear that your relationship is over? Here are three ideas on how you can ask for a divorce as respectfully as possible.
- Get prepared before you talk to your spouse
Before you talk to your spouse about getting a divorce, you need to be sure that it’s what you want. While this isn’t the case for all couples, it may be the case for you that once you bring up the idea of separation, there’s no going back. The fact that you’re considering divorce may be hurtful to your spouse, so be prepared to follow through with what you’re asking for.
- Be ready to stay calm during the conversation
Your spouse may not be expecting you to ask for a divorce, so try to keep your cool even if they lose their temper or get upset. To minimize the risk of upset, try to choose the right time to talk about the divorce as well as the right place. Somewhere private on a day when your spouse is in a good mood and doesn’t have a lot to do would be a nice choice.
- Make your wishes clear
Finally, be clear about what you want. Don’t say noncommittal things like, “I think I want to divorce,” or “I don’t think we get along well.” These kinds of statements allow the other person to challenge your thinking. Instead, simply state, “I am filing for divorce. I’m not happy in this relationship.” You may get questions about where these feelings are coming from, but there is no room for argument.
These are three things you can do to prepare for asking for a divorce. Remember, being prepared, clear and calm will help keep this conversation balanced and respectful.