Going through a divorce has a wide range of negative emotions attached to it. You may start to blame yourself for what has happened, and feel a sense of failure or shame for not doing what was necessary to save your marriage. You may alternatively place heavy blame on your divorcing spouse and feel a large amount of anger and resentment.
However you are feeling and whatever emotions you are going through, they deserve a place in your life so that you can process them and eventually heal. But you should make sure that these emotions do not overtake the divorce process. The following are some tips for keeping your emotions separate from a divorce.
Divorce is not about revenge
Revenge is something we seek when we believe that we have been treated unfairly or poorly. We want to induce the same pain that we are feeling in the person that ignited the pain in us. While it can be tempting, seeking revenge is never the answer to your own healing. The divorce process will be about what is fair, and your emotions can only be worked through the outside of the courtroom.
Don’t let your buttons get pushed
It’s likely that your divorcing spouse is going to try to play your emotions against you and bring out the worst side of you. Simply put, don’t let them gain that advantage. Keeping calm, cool, and logical at all times is the best thing that you can do to ensure that you get the optimal divorce outcome.
Acknowledge your role
Marriages don’t end purely because of the actions of one spouse. A relationship has two sides, and failures from both sides lead to the breakdown of your marriage. Accepting that you were not perfect can be a liberating feeling.
Make sure that you deal with your emotions outside of the divorce proceedings so that you can gain closure and get the optimal divorce outcome.
