You and your spouse may be having problems in your marriage. After much deliberation, it was decided that it might be best to see a marriage therapist. Now, you’re several months in, and it seems your marriage just isn’t getting better.
If counseling isn’t resolving your marital issues, there might be other causes for your problems. Here are three reasons why couples’ therapy can fail:
1. Your spouse needs personal therapy
Marriage therapists study the dynamics between two spouses. This could mean shining a spotlight on difficulties that are caused by both people. It may turn out, however, that your spouse is dealing with issues unrelated to the marriage, but is still causing marital problems.
Your spouse may need to seek individual therapy if they are haunted by issues from a previous relationship or childhood trauma. If your spouse doesn’t take the initiative to work on their problem, your marriage may only worsen.
2. Your spouse is hiding facts during therapy
Marital counseling is meant to create a safe place where couples can speak freely about their feelings. While this encourages openness, spouses may be hiding key details that are creating marital difficulties.
Your spouse may be keeping their true feelings from you. They may be cheating or stealing from you. They may even be entirely unsatisfied with the relationship.
3. Your spouse is prolonging the inevitable
Your spouse may have already decided they no longer wish to be with you. Marriage counseling was supposed to help reform your bond and your spouse took it as one last-ditch effort to fix things. Sinking money into marriage counseling may only be worsening issues by creating financial pressure.
The result of going to marriage counseling may only be temporary – there may not even be any way to a happier marriage with your spouse. You shouldn’t have to stay where you’re unhappy. Knowing your options may be your best choice.